Exes, Kindly Exit Please

“Let’s not pretend that we’re cool with each other and that we’re friends…” You just read a piece from a semi scathing text sent from a certain someone to another certain (ignorant) someone who tried to act like everything was all kosher. This is a pet peeve of mine which triggered this ensuing blog post. We’re all human and we make mistakes. When you make a mistake that can alter or even end a relationship, you should follow a certain protocol.

You must acknowledge the wrong, attempt to make amends if you wish, and let the other decide if he/she is will to forgo the wrong. If they are unable to get over the mistake and they wish to end the relationship, then let them go and leave them be. It’s that simple. Sadly, there is no tort when it comes to love lost (for you wannabe smarty pants, loss of consortium doesn’t count here). Sure you could try and pin them for IIED but you’ve got to satisfy those outlandish elements. So when you’re underwhelmed by love and it fades along with your naiveté and there is no remedy for you, you need an exit strategy. Not for yourself, but for your ex-friend, ex-boyfriend etc. Sure, you might miss them, but you’ll get over it. So delete those texts, phone numbers, photographs and any other reminders of the person. They may be pleasant at first sight, but these are tricky triggers that will have you remembering the good times you had with the person and then you’ll fall into their trap. Once you’ve cleared the scene of any remnants of them, you can proceed with less caution and go on with life.

The problem comes when they want to pop up into your life again. It’s like that silly carnival game where you keep bopping those toy monsters and once you think they’re dead and gone, they burst into life again. You end up puzzled and you don’t know understand what it is that they don’t get. Why can’t he/she understand that it’s done? El fin. Over. Finito. BYE. You must let them know (especially the ones from Mars because they’re a slower breed at times). Spell it out and if you’re lucky, they’ll get it the first time around. And so, with class and style ask them to kindly exit your life because they mattered, if only, for a little while.

UBU

Is This Real Life??? Yes.

If this isn't real life, I don't know what is. It's about time we added this video:

Nice Guys...I'm Just Not That in to You

Now we have all heard the phrase nice guys finish last, and as sad as it may be I have come to fully understand and accept this notion. I can think of countless times where my friends and I have discussed a guy and the first and pretty much only thing we say about him is "Oh he's so nice," Now this is never in the context of damn he looks good, or I wonder if he's dating someone. This is always in the context of we are not attracted to him, don't care who he's dating or if he's dating. Recently I have begun to ask myself what exactly is it that is wrong with nice guys?

I'm happy to report that I have figured out the answer...at least the answer as it pertains to me. Overall, I'm a pretty quiet person, but when I talk I have a lot to say and I feel pretty strongly about whatever topic it is that the conversation reaches. With that said generally, nice guys bore the hell out of me. Why you ask? It is absolutely positively because they don't stand up to me. Even in regular trivial conversations they either agree with everything I'm saying because they think that's what I want to hear, or they don't disagree with enough passion to make me think they really have an opinion. The bottom line is that they are BORING. I don't feel like they can handle my sarcasm, and I'd rather not feel like the evil villain in a friendship or a relationship.

I'm not saying that I want someone mean that's gonna choke me out, or someone who isn't nice. I just don't want that Nice Guy. I want someone who isn't afraid to challenge me, someone who isn't afraid to disagree or argue with me. Someone who can argue passionately but fairly, understanding that each disagreement isn't a monumental failure of either person. Most of all someone who isn't totally afraid to hurt my feelings. I think the Nice Guy is just as likely to hurt my feelings as the Real Guy, but the difference is that the Nice Guy will hurt my feelings because he's too afraid to hurt my feelings (sheer avoidance), whereas the Real Guy is gonna hurt my feelings by being himself and just effing up. This Real Guy won't be so concerned with living up to a nice guy image that he cant be real, this guy will know that while I don't get hurt easily, I do get hurt. With the Real Guy small problems will stay small, while with the Nice Guy small problems will be the cracks in the foundation because we cannot be real with each other. I don't believe the Nice Guy can have a true perception of who I am.

I have had the privilege of dealing with both types of guys. I've had the difficult task of walking away from both types of guys. Honestly, I never miss the nice guys. They never told me to shut up or called me crazy. They never gave me credit for my humor or told me what they weren't going to do. They never took charge. Instead I miss the real guys, who werent afraid to be themselves straight from the jump. They had made mistakes before and didn't pretend to be perfect, but showed that they were willing to try. The Real Guy brings balance to my life that helps me be real with myself. The Nice Guy wants to live in my fantasy world.

I don't believe that these guys are so different or that they cannot exist within the same person. It is quite possible that the Nice Guy may meet the right girl at the right time for which they can be the Real Guy for. At the end of this whole Nice Guy rant, I have realized that I am much better at distinguishing the Nice Guy from the Real Guy now, and to the Nice Guys out there before we even begin...I'm just not that into you! I don't need your niceness but if you want to show me your realness I'll show you mine ;)

Nic

Wale - The Break Up Song (Full Official Version)

I really love this video for many reasons and we can all relate to it, albeit some of us more than others, but if it applies to you then it applies to you.

Nic

#WINNING

Hey World,

So if you take a look at the previous emo and depressing posts you would think that there is no hope in sight. Not true. An unexpected ball of light with an excessive amount of tiger blood and Adonis DNA has given us some new perspective. His name is Charlie Sheen and he has made our week. He too is an unemployed winner and he has given us some hope. We were all in need of some good laughter! Honestly. Spring break is around the corner but it has still been rough. Pikachu Sims and Mr. Duncan got through their evil memo and now it's my turn to complete mine. On the bright side, I have it organized and I'm ahead of schedule (thank God). Ni-Cole has been doing well...she is the shining glory in our Corporations course and even though she doesn't know it yet, I'm so glad she is going to tutor me. In general HUSL news, elections are over (sort of) thank God. Those elections were ridiculously intense for no reason. You would have thought these people were running to be the President of the United States. I voted but I wasn't satisfied with the results, but overall I don't care much because I know things will stay the same. We all had lunch together the other day and we realized that the Class of 2012 is like a big section 3. Apparently the other classes think that there's no good solid leadership in our class as a whole and that we're unmotivated? I guess I can't really argue with that. Cut out the losarios in section2 and you have a happy medium. I think it makes us unique...you can't really tell us anything and we're gonna do what we're gonna do. I think that's why we can relate so much to our friend Charlie.
Naturally, in honor of our semi-honorary Real HUSLer Charlie, i figured we should remind ourselves of the ways we are bi-winning (winning here and winning there).

• We have this bomb blog
• Each of us have an understanding that law school is not our life. As Justice Sotomayor said "Don't be so consumed in the law that you forget to be a person."
• We have dance parties in the library during finals week
• We know how to have fun & we keep a tight drama free crew
• Our whole 1L year is documented in photographs

That's just to name a few things...i'm sure the others can add several other points. In the end, it is very cliche and cheesy but we have each other. Hands down. No ifs ands or buts. #Winning.

Deuces,

UBU