Seasons.

I’ve been quite pensive lately which has led to several emo-rages (just ask Pikachu Sims). Recall: “Emo-rage [ee-moh rayje]: The new “bitchassness” which predominately affects males ages 18-27; the cause is unknown but it has much to do with a combination of Kid Cudi on heavy rotation and symptoms may be exacerbated when alcohol is consumed.” My own unique symptoms = no bitchassness…more of just over analyzing particular situations with a combo of Adele, Kid Cudi & Coldplay on steady rotation. These emo-rages had me thinking about seasons.

“They say people in your life are seasons, and everything that happen(s) is for a reason…” I’ve heard that when people come into your life for a season, it’s because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. These seasonal people are said to bring the feeling of peace or make you laugh, and they may even expose you to something you’ve never experienced. With this is comes an unbelievable amount of joy. It’s all real, but only for a season. Why? This is when it gets tricky…I think that discovering the purpose of fleeting friendships or relationships is the hardest part. Sometimes you have to go through a subsequent experience to have it all click and see what that person truly meant in your life. It’s like figuring out a huge jigsaw puzzle. All the people we encounter fit into our lives somewhere. Some are easy to place, but then there are those other pieces that seem like they don’t belong at all. Or sometimes you think you know exactly where they belong because it all looks so right, and then you realize that a slight defect cancels out a particular spot. But when they are finally situated in their rightful place (yes, they all have a place), the puzzle is complete, thus fulfilling your journey.

I’ve had my issues with seasonal people because it was hard for me to value anyone that seemed so fleeting and fickle. It seems like seasonal folk are usually going through changes or they can’t seem to cope with certain situations that make them uncomfortable. They find their way into our hearts and shape who we are, then slip, scramble, or vanish from our lives. As I’ve matured, I have tried to honor the fact that these people have their own minds to follow and that it’s not my place to push my personal agenda on their lives. You have to humble yourself and to resist the temptation to insist on getting your way, and allow people to just be. You can never EVER change anyone else; you can only work on changing and bettering yourself.

I’m thankful to say that I’ve only had a few puzzle pieces that have been rather hard to place. I’ve been blessed with those “life-timers”…those people that remain CONSTANT. I cherish these people in my life and as I grow older, I see that they are the ones that truly matter. Of course this isn’t a movie and I can’t fast forward to see which main characters will last until the very end…maybe some people in my “life timer” category could end up being seasonal *kanye shrug*...only time will tell. As for the seasonal people: when your time with them has expired, you have to let them go (whether it’s your choice or not). It’s best to do this with grace and gratitude; acknowledge that for a time they added to your life. You have to understand that seasons change. Take it for what it is and realize that the beauty is simply that it was.

Happy Autumn,

UBU

Exes, Kindly Exit Please

“Let’s not pretend that we’re cool with each other and that we’re friends…” You just read a piece from a semi scathing text sent from a certain someone to another certain (ignorant) someone who tried to act like everything was all kosher. This is a pet peeve of mine which triggered this ensuing blog post. We’re all human and we make mistakes. When you make a mistake that can alter or even end a relationship, you should follow a certain protocol.

You must acknowledge the wrong, attempt to make amends if you wish, and let the other decide if he/she is will to forgo the wrong. If they are unable to get over the mistake and they wish to end the relationship, then let them go and leave them be. It’s that simple. Sadly, there is no tort when it comes to love lost (for you wannabe smarty pants, loss of consortium doesn’t count here). Sure you could try and pin them for IIED but you’ve got to satisfy those outlandish elements. So when you’re underwhelmed by love and it fades along with your naiveté and there is no remedy for you, you need an exit strategy. Not for yourself, but for your ex-friend, ex-boyfriend etc. Sure, you might miss them, but you’ll get over it. So delete those texts, phone numbers, photographs and any other reminders of the person. They may be pleasant at first sight, but these are tricky triggers that will have you remembering the good times you had with the person and then you’ll fall into their trap. Once you’ve cleared the scene of any remnants of them, you can proceed with less caution and go on with life.

The problem comes when they want to pop up into your life again. It’s like that silly carnival game where you keep bopping those toy monsters and once you think they’re dead and gone, they burst into life again. You end up puzzled and you don’t know understand what it is that they don’t get. Why can’t he/she understand that it’s done? El fin. Over. Finito. BYE. You must let them know (especially the ones from Mars because they’re a slower breed at times). Spell it out and if you’re lucky, they’ll get it the first time around. And so, with class and style ask them to kindly exit your life because they mattered, if only, for a little while.

UBU